Ageing, this has been preoccupying me rather a lot recently. I am not old, however I have reached that stage in my life where things are "changing". This is of course inevitable and natural, I am however struggling with some of the elements that go with it. A lot is written on the subject, particularly the physical changes and symptoms associated with it. However for me the emotional changes during this time have a much greater impact. I have gone along in my life with all the usual highs and lows, some much more challenging than I would have liked, but I always felt I knew who I was, I was comfortable with my appearance, style, personality and general "OVERVIEW" that was me.
I went shopping with my daughter earlier this week, it was fun. However where once I could pick up an item of clothing and be fairly sure of how it would suit me, the size required etc etc, now styles that I took for granted, just look wrong. When I am feeling negative (sadly a trait of mine which troubles me now and again), I question who I am anymore, I no longer recognise the girl, and when at my lowest I feel invisible. It is important to me that I regain some control over this current mood and perception of myself. Talking to friends who have been here before me, this rather negative view of oneself does pass and the woman you once were and are DOES return.
Luckily, as a family we eat a very healthy diet already, so I have personalised this to suit the symptoms and increased my exercise. Yoga is something I did and enjoyed hugely many years ago, and would like start again as soon as I can find a good teacher locally. As importantly though, is not beating myself up on these changes. They happen, they are just another step along the way and hopefully I will soon start to feel like ME again, I liked her and I miss her!
all images from previous posts