Wednesday, 2 April 2014

Changing Times

Ageing, this has been preoccupying me rather a lot recently. I am not old, however I have reached that stage in my life where things are "changing". This is of course inevitable and natural, I am however struggling with some of the elements that go with it. A lot is written on the subject, particularly the physical changes and symptoms associated with it. However for me the emotional changes during this time have a much greater impact. I have gone along in my life with all the usual highs and lows, some much more challenging than I would have liked, but I always felt I knew who I was, I was comfortable with my appearance, style, personality and general "OVERVIEW" that was me.

I went shopping with my daughter earlier this week, it was fun. However where once I could pick up an item of clothing and be fairly sure of how it would suit me, the size required etc etc, now styles that I  took for granted, just look wrong. When I am feeling negative (sadly a trait of mine which troubles me now and again), I question who I am anymore, I no longer recognise the girl, and when at my lowest I feel invisible. It is important to me that I regain some control over this current mood and perception of myself. Talking to friends who have been here before me, this rather negative view of oneself does pass and the woman you once were and are DOES return.

Luckily, as a family we eat a very healthy diet already, so I have personalised this to suit the symptoms and increased my exercise. Yoga is something I did and enjoyed hugely many years ago, and would like start again as soon as I can find a good teacher locally. As importantly though, is not beating myself up on these changes. They happen, they are just another step along the way and hopefully I will soon start to feel like ME again, I liked her and I miss her! 

all images from previous posts



  1. I know that many of us will relate to what you have said! I find at this stage in life, as our children move away and we start to reflect upon our age and stage in life, it is particularly important to indulge a little and concentrate on ourselves a bit more without feeling guilty! I have always been pretty active, i.e. walking dogs, gardening, cleaning etc. but a year ago, I took up more serious, regular exercise (spinning and body combat!) and can not believe the difference it has made to my life. Not only as a 'foodie' can I now not worry about gaining weight, but it is such a mood lifter and I feel stronger and healthier. So yes, yoga sounds good! Ageing and change are always hard, but I think it can be very positive too with the right attitude.
    A lovely, thought provoking post….and you will find the old you!
    Love, Sophia xx

  2. Oh my goodness you should write these posts more often - the empathy I feel! I know I have mused far too much about age lately what with a milestone birthday but even thinking ahead I know I am going to be one of those people who struggle with this! I so don't want to be and am already checking my thinking on the matter of ageing and trying to see the positive and not the negative. Easier said than done. Funny thing is that a couple of my best friends are about 14 years older than me so have navigated this phase and are such role models to me. However I think when you go through it, it's a very personal thing.
    Re the 'invisible' stage - I HATE the idea of this! Either you start to look older and then it's like an inevitable decline into old lady or your fight it and then risk mutton and lamb-itis. Really hard. I am always on the look out for images that capture older women who look great and appropriate but still cool and NOT invisible. I think it's the saddest thing when someone no longer feels they are seen. And no question having a daughter does compound it; I see how people look at her already!!
    Very thought-provoking post and I love when you share - although God knows it's hard - I hesitate every time I hit 'publish' on my blog. But you'll find you have hit the nail on the head of how so many women are feeling. L x

  3. This is such a brave post and I really admire you for sharing. You are right about this stage which all women face at some point in their lives. It seems particularly cruel that having survived many changes already and finally gained confidence and sense of self, age knocks us back again and makes us feel like awkward teens. It's especially true that older women become 'invisible' but not to old friends, who are the best counter to that feeling of slipping away. You will return, it takes time. .

  4. Thank you so much for writing this! I turn 46 in June and I've struggled with my weight, energy level and sleep patterns for the past couple of years. My mom is one of those women who seemed to age overnight, one minute she looked youthful and slim then suddenly, she had middle age spread and short old lady hair...I'm terrified of that happening to me! We eat pretty healthy but I know I need to exercise more and, like you said, find a style for this phase of life! Thank you so much for sharing this!

  5. Great post, so brave! Thank you for sharing this!

  6. Hi there - I can so relate to this post.
    As Sophia has said, one way to deal with this 'stage' of our lives is to up the exercise. I took up running, feel healthier and met some amazing people. I've also met other runners who are much older than me. Their attitude is - you've just got to keep on moving.
    I have so enjoyed catching up with your wonderful blog. It's looking stunning.
    Hope you have a lovely weekend,